- I feel rancid. For about a month I’ve felt vaguely ill, like I might be about to be ill but then somehow never quite getting sick. That flirtation with sickness has now turned into an actual cold.
- Last week I was on the train home from London after some drinks and a guy behind me offered me some crisps and they were Squares. And I said “no thanks” and he said “what? you don’t like squares?” and I said “no I think it’s undignified when grown-ups eat children’s foods. I made fun of my colleague today for eating Squares actually” and he said “well hold on a sec, sounds like you were yucking on his yum. You can’t yuck on someone’s yum”.
- The next day I apologised to my colleague for yucking on his yum, and told him in the future he can enjoy his yums without me yucking on them. And now every time I see him at lunch eating his tesco meal-deal I ask him if he is enjoying his yums and he tells me (in one way or another) to leave him alone.
- The square-eating-lads-on-the-train went on to good naturedly share with me their worst opinions (mostly about obesity), and I was left trying to recall what terrible opinions I held in my 20s.