• Hello my babies.
  • It’s ONE WHOLE YEAR since I went back to work after maternity leave. Here is what I said about it.
  • Google Hangouts now have live captioning turned if you want it but they asterisk out any swearing?! This seems absurd to me - what are you protecting me from? The knowledge that my colleague described something as “shit”? Not really! Because when I see “s***” I know what they said was “shit”!
  • Possibly they have ported auto captioning tech that they use on YouTube, where maybe protecting people from swears is deemed more important.
  • I’m on the fence about how offensive swearing is - some people hate it - some people (hello, mum) enjoy dropping a strategic F-bomb. The thing I find really annoying is the asterisk-ing out. If you’re going to swear, actually do it?
  • I noticed this because Google mis-interpreted something my colleague said as “shit” when they didn’t even say that. It was an imagined swear.
  • My bike fell on my leg on Tuesday. It landed on my thigh gears first and then scraped down to mid calf. I have some very aesthetic bruises coming through and some nice scrape marks.
  • Did you know there isn’t a washing machine emoji. I guess that’s indicative of how unimportant people think domestic work is. I asked some insiders about this and they showed me this page of all emoji requests made to the Emoji Subcommittee. It has “washing machine” on it with the status “Added to larger set” which probably means it’s being rolled up into a group of emojis (like domestic appliances) to be added.
  • My secret source also told me that because of the push to get better skin tone representation (eg two different coloured hands shaking hands 🤝) into emoji, there is not a lot of time for adding other new things. Which is fine. I don’t need a washing machine emoji that badly my washing machine is fixed now anyway.
  • Did you see the request for a vulva emoji in that list? I think I’ll stick with the taco thanks 🌮, especially especially if it means we don’t have to have a penis emoji.
  • The man who fixed my washing machine, in contrast to last week’s man, called me “sweetie”, “madam”, and “my love” a lot, and asked if the drill out on the table “belonged to my husband”.
  • Yes the drill belongs to my husband. No you shut up. I could use a drill if I wanted to I just choose not to.
  • Today we went to Dulwich Pavilion. I did it mainly for instagram but E actually really enjoyed running around it like a little maniac.
  • I’ve been able to have short conversations with E for a while now. It’s lovely.

👶🏼Where’s the moon?

🤷🏻‍♀️I don’t know

👶🏼Where’s it gone?

🤷🏻‍♀️I don’t know?

👶🏼Is it hide and seek?


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