- I watch Have I Got News For You. I know I’m not supposed to like it because it’s establishment men being smug about the news but I do OK?
- Anyway anyway I watched the first social distancing episode and my god I have not seen any telly that bad ever in my life. It was excruciating. They were all dialling from their respective homes and of course there was no live audience.
- Firstly - somebody please get these men a green stick, they look like they’ve been boiled. (Steph McGovern was hosting and looked great, presumably because she’s been paying attention in hair and makeup).
- Secondly - not only is this not funny it is also really uncomfortable. It’s awkward. It’s four strangers at a dinner party who have been told to be funny. Despite the fact that it would have been edited, the timing was still off.
- I had to leave the room.
- Nice weather eh?
- I had a bit of a funny interaction with the local garden centre. They sent me the following email in response to a question about what varieties of strawberries they had:
Thank you for your email. strawberries pegasus, red gauntlet, florence, elsante, alice, sweet heart please call the shop to confirm and make payment for this [REDACTED PHONE NUMBER] we are extremely busy thanks
- How rude I thought. Don’t call me sweetheart. Do you want my business or not?
- I nearly didn’t respond because I was so narked off by the tone, but then I did because I do actually really want some strawberry plants as last years ones have root weevils and are looking very sad.
- Anyway, when the plants arrived I looked at the handwritten notes from our conversation:
- red gauntlet,
- sweet heart
- So - Alice, and Sweet Heart are both varieties of strawberry, apparently, and sometimes people are just giving you lists of strawberries rather than being rude.